Week 2 Wednesday

The morning started fine, then the rest went downhill. I began to feel feverish and highly uncomfortable in my own skin. I stuck it out at work though because I knew that I needed to work out afterwards. I couldn't really tell if I was sick either, or if it was a case of indigestion or craving for sweets or emotional fulfillment.


Because of the snow I had taken the bus into town, so by the time I walked the half hour walk to the complex from work, I was a little tired. I warmed up quickly with leg exercises, then hit the treadmill for 20 minutes, which was all that I could handle. I managed to jog for five minutes at 5 mph without too much difficulty, which is unheard of for me (even that I can do it when I'm feeling crummy is amazing haha I surprised myself oh joy!) After that, my speed slowed down from a brisk walk at 4 mph to a lazy one at 3.5. My legs were having a hard time keeping up and my foot hurt from the boots I was wearing before.

I felt at this time much to weary and hot to do anything else, so I left, and ended up walking another half an hour to a friends house to chill out for the evening. ( I wasn't worried about infecting them in case you were wondering, as they were the one that gave it to me!)

I am satisfied with my eating for this day, although I did throw in about 300 calories of cheesecake, I limited my caloric intake in other areas and went to bed somewhat hungry. So all in all, even though it wasn't the best day, it was a good day. I was able to keep focused, and make it through a day at work, doing a good job there, and I was able to keep focused and at least get to the gym even to just raise my heart rate for a little bit.

This commitment has already helped me in serious ways. Knowing that I have to make it in the gym keeps me on track, and from feeling lost. It brings meaning into my life and commitment. Part of my fat struggle has been the mentality that 'things don't matter' I'd taken away all the rules and lived however I 'felt' like it at the time, and if that 'feeling' was to devour a bucket of ice cream or not exercise for days on end, I'd be doing it.

Little did I realize that structure is there for a reason, it provide safety and meaning, a reason to get out of bed in the morning.  A reason to set down the ice cream and take the painful option of exercise or facing the actual problem, be it emotional or hormonal. This is a harder way, but the benefits will pay off. And it is not impossibly hard. It just takes being aware.

I have not spent every day weighing myself because that quickly becomes into the weighing game, not the healthy lifestyle reality. Also, my scale is different then the one at the society, it makes me alot lighter. So I'll just have to be patient until the next official weigh in!